tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45101917177707669712024-03-13T09:37:27.912-06:00Mommy in ChiefA 20-something mommy chronicles the ups and downs (and ins and outs, literally) of parenting.Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.comBlogger233125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-61738384118572417362011-09-08T18:36:00.000-06:002011-09-08T18:36:21.414-06:00Moving...I am moving my blog, and on the new site I promise to be more consistent!<br />
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We are in the final design stages for the new blog, and I'm hoping to launch it sometime next week. We are still working on how to migrate the SEO from this site and make sure that I don't have duplicate content since I've moved all my posts and comments as well. I will post an update next week, and I'd love if you'd follow me to my new home!Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-20605166195500309642011-07-23T15:53:00.000-06:002011-07-23T15:53:37.511-06:00Birthday love is geneticToday is my husband's birthday. Happy Birthday Dan! <br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FXzcbc7-ais/TitCd71kj-I/AAAAAAAABMI/o2FwK_r0wb4/s1600/IMG_7181.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FXzcbc7-ais/TitCd71kj-I/AAAAAAAABMI/o2FwK_r0wb4/s320/IMG_7181.JPG" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kellen helping Beth blow out her candles!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I love birthdays, especially my own, but birthdays as a whole. I love balloons, wrapping paper, that look right before the birthday-ee opens his present where you know he's just trying to guess what's inside (or trying to feign surprise if he already knows). <br />
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Kellen apparently has inherited this birthday love. We've been to several birthday parties this year, and he definitely gets the whole idea. I think if he had it his way, we would be celebrating someone's birthday in our house 365 days a year. And I know he's starting to get restless about it not having been his birthday yet. I'd think a year was a long time too if it was a third of my entire life! <br />
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What Kellen loves the absolute most about birthdays is blowing out the candles. He already pulled the star candles (labeled with a "1") out of the cake drawer to put on top of his dad's giant Oreo cake. And the only way I could get him to take a nap was to promise him that we would wait to blow out the candles until he woke up. And that, yes, he could help. I'm actually starting to worry a little about taking him to another child's birthday party because he now thinks he always gets to help with the candles, and I can't see a preschooler taking well to his help. <br />
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I can't say I blame him about the birthday obsession. Other than the aging thing, what's not to love?Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-65440535832683539482011-07-14T12:05:00.000-06:002011-07-14T12:05:36.373-06:00I'm going to BlogHer, and...<a href="http://blogher.com/blogher_conference/conf/9/general/1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="I'm Going to BlogHer '11" src="http://www.blogher.com/files/BH11-150-Going.jpg" /></a>It's hard to believe that BlogHer is only a couple of weeks away. I bought my ticket in December, so it seems like there's been a lot of waiting and lead up with little to actually focus on. I'm a BlogHer newbie, though I've read about it enough to have some preconceived ideas about what it might actually be like.<br />
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I'm pretty extroverted. I share my opinions freely. And yet there is something about going to a conference with that many people, most of whom I don't know, that has me a little freaked out. Sure I've talked to a lot of people on Twitter, which at least breaks the ice a little bit. But what happens when I talk to someone who I've talked to a number of times online and don't even realize we've spoken... or forget some major part of their story.<br />
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Also, people are buying new wardrobes for this thing? Seriously? Apparently they don't realize that on the left coast, we do casual really well. I'll bring three pairs of jeans, a few extra shirts (for the day I inevitably spill coffee) and I guess a nicer outfit or two. I hope flip-flops are ok.<br />
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Then there's the whole blogging thing. BlogHer seems to be very mommy-blog centric. This blog has been so neglected. Now that we are running a web design company, we are going to work on rebranding Mommy in Chief and hopefully actually sticking to a blogging schedule. But I'm pretty certain that won't happen before August 4.<br />
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I really am excited... just also feeling like I'm in a little over my head.Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-55255467143598443402011-06-24T14:02:00.001-06:002011-06-24T14:03:53.024-06:00Cars 2 reviewDan and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of Cars 2. It's been on our calendar for months. And the excitement in our house this morning to take our son to his first movie in the theaters was evident. Kellen was dressed in his Cars shirt (and underwear), and we had his Cars sippy cup (and a Cars pull-up, just in case) in my purse. <br />
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Our first stop was swim lessons, and then we were off. Kellen seemed a little hesitant when I told him about the huge movie screen ("scream" in 2 year old speak). But as soon as he saw the lights inside the theater doors, he lit up (pardon the pun). We gave him his ticket, which he gave to the attendant. And then we got our popcorn and some "lemdidade." <br />
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The previews were just about to start as we took our seats. <br />
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And that's when the whole experience fell apart. <br />
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In a theater full of preschool-aged children to see a movie we all expected to be appropriate for said age group, the first preview was for robots fighting. It was LOUD. And scary. And aggressive. Neither Dan nor I could understand how this preview was appropriate for a Pixar film. <br />
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And then there was another preview. And another. And another. And then Kellen said, "All done," before the movie even started. And then when we finally thought the previews were all done, a Toy Story short film came on. By this point, even the thrill of popcorn and lemdidade had worn off.<br />
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Finally (finally!) Cars 2 started.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_JY6W3IOOjvg/TO23Ra_hYVI/AAAAAAAAAC8/VeA5iBDOqeQ/s1600/Cars+2+Movie+%25288%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_JY6W3IOOjvg/TO23Ra_hYVI/AAAAAAAAAC8/VeA5iBDOqeQ/s320/Cars+2+Movie+%25288%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a>Within the first five minutes I was pretty sure we made a mistake. I should note here that I don't like guns for kids. We don't have toy guns in our house, and we don't watch a lot of violence. Who would have thought that I would have needed to be so worried about a Pixar film? The opening sequence is filled with guns and violence and explosions. And quite frankly, it doesn't get much better in the hour and a half that follows. <br />
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We love, LOVE Cars. But everything that was so endearing about the first movie is exceptionally absent from the sequel. It was James Bond or Mission Impossible with Cars instead of humans. And I would never let my two and a half year old watch those movies. I just can't understand what Pixar was thinking, especially since it is such a deviation from their normal (and ultimately incredibly successful) collection of children's movies. What I have admired about Pixar is their ability to make movies that appeal to such a broad audience, starting with toddlers, extending to the adults who sit through their movies time and time and time again. Cars 2 did not seem to have that same appeal. I don't feel it was appropriate for my son. And the adult jokes that are usually sprinkled throughout were minor, extracting only a few chuckles from the hundred+ parents holding their children. <br />
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The other thing I found challenging about this movie is that there was a lot of talk and nuance about the spy thing that most of the kids didn't seem to understand. And a number of the kids started to get restless. Several parents left the theater with their young children. And many of the older kids were standing up and seemed to have a hard time engaging with the story line. (Dan would also like to add that, "honestly, it just wasn't that good.")<br />
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There are a couple of redeeming moments in the end, and Disney still has a moment of self-reflection and revelation, though it is mostly lost with the attempt to have such an action-packed film. I find that unfortunate because it's one of the reasons I love Finding Nemo and Shrek and Toy Story so much. <br />
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We actually left before the end was completely wrapped up (though I did notice there was a tie-in with the Mater's Tall Tales idea as we were heading to the bathroom). I think Kellen was scared more than anything. I thought taking him to Cars would make him talk endlessly for weeks about the movie theater. Instead, I worry it will be a year before he will let us go back. Fortunately Winnie the Pooh is coming out at some point next year. I'm pretty sure they can't make that violent, though before today I would have said the same about Cars... and if they start with a preview of Terminator 6, I'm pretty sure it won't matter how benign the movie ultimately is.<br />
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<i>I know there are a number of other families going to see Cars this weekend. I'd love to hear your comments afterward. Am I overreacting? Did your children love it? Will you recommend it to other families?</i>Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-25897924059356795372011-06-07T10:37:00.000-06:002011-06-07T10:37:33.612-06:00Use your F*@#ing wordsMy child can talk in full sentences. He's quite capable, in fact, of expressing himself and sharing his view of the world around him. <br />
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"See the giant excavator?" <br />
"Water, down there. We can't go in there. It's dangerous." (referring to the canal)<br />
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And yet, the kid screams and screams and screams as though he was incapable of communicating even the most basic of his needs.<br />
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Chances are, if you're a parent or grandparent of a child born in the last two decades, you've adamantly told a child, "Use your words!" In my head, the F word usually appears in that command at least once. <br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oyztUNbtehg/Te5TYKWcrzI/AAAAAAAABJM/FFSyT_aItRc/s1600/91634868.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="215" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oyztUNbtehg/Te5TYKWcrzI/AAAAAAAABJM/FFSyT_aItRc/s320/91634868.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: right;">iStockphoto</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I'm beginning to wonder though if this *request* has ever been successful, at least for a two year old. When I ask Kellen to use his words it usually results in more screaming and even less understanding. It's getting to the point where I often feel like I'd be justified in lying in the middle of the mall on my stomach while screaming at the top of my lungs just because the store ran out of the shirt in my size. Momma see, momma do, right?!<br />
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While I still use this phrase in desperation, I'm trying another tactic, which is ignoring and walking away. I still might not know what the kid wants (or needs ::snort::), but usually he stands up and follows (usually screaming "Mommy, come back"). I know the other parents look at me in disgust, but at least I've saved my sanity, at least momentarily.Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-12859406700587554832011-06-03T15:28:00.000-06:002011-06-03T15:28:19.191-06:00The boy loves pinkKellen is struggling to learn his colors. Green and blue? No interest in distinguishing them. Red? Who cares. Purple and pink? He's got it down!<br />
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Kellen loves, loves pink. He likes wearing his pink polo and pointing out my pink pajama pants. He screams if he can't eat his yogurt with his pink spoon. And given a choice, he'd probably pick a pink balloon over a more "boyish" color like blue or red. The only color dragon he recognizes in his dragon book is the purple one. <br />
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I've thought a lot about this in light of the story about the parents who aren't sharing the gender of their child. <br />
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I love pink. It shouldn't be a big deal if my son does too... not to mention it's a great color on him. I'm known to have feminist leanings. This shouldn't bother me. For the most part it doesn't. I actually think it's kind of funny that he's picked up on pink as his favorite color. <br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lwjCHL9HG7s/TelRrZNqzhI/AAAAAAAABI8/MQRHGQuVhK8/s1600/86536580.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lwjCHL9HG7s/TelRrZNqzhI/AAAAAAAABI8/MQRHGQuVhK8/s320/86536580.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">ThinkStock</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>It has made me question some gender stereotypes though. How would I feel if he wanted me to paint his room pink? And even if I think it's ok, how would his grandparents react? If I tell someone my son likes pink, will they automatically start to question his sexuality, as though our wavelength preference has something to do with our biological preferences? And who even decided that estrogen had a monopoly on such a vibrant and diverse color?<br />
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I know there will come a time, probably soon, where someone lets Kellen know that pink isn't an appropriate favorite color for a child who loves the sound of a roaring monster truck and who turns mountains into dragons. And even if he still secretly likes pink, I know he'll tell me he likes blue... or worse, black. And then do I push pink just because I want to tell societal conventions to leave my son alone?<br />
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I mean, I don't get the family keeping the gender a secret. It seems like an awfully cruel experiment just to prove a point... one that we largely know exists anyway. But there are some moments, like this, where I wish being a boy or girl didn't matter so much. Kellen should get to love pink just because it's awesome (it is, you should see my wardrobe). All the other boys can have blue.Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-68550750834470345822011-05-20T10:03:00.057-06:002011-05-20T19:04:00.065-06:00The great Binky Rapture<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iDSvRLhwmBI/TdWTytwbF0I/AAAAAAAABI0/9gTjF4UYcwQ/s1600/pacifier.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iDSvRLhwmBI/TdWTytwbF0I/AAAAAAAABI0/9gTjF4UYcwQ/s320/pacifier.jpg" width="318" /></a></div>I knew that the time would come. The date was prophesized in Dr. Sears's Baby Book, multiplying the number 2, for age of destruction, by 1.25 because that's where I stopped reading. I actually planned to take the pacifier away tonight, but sometimes the rapture comes early, which is why it's important to be prepared.<br />
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I told Kellen last night that it was his last night with his binkie. Perhaps you'll be having the same conversation with your <a href="http://www.aftertherapturepetcare.com/">dog tomorrow night</a>. I told him I had to give his binkies to the <del></del><strike>angels</strike> babies. And with that, he threw his binky out of his mouth and tossed it across the room. He was actually going to make this easy. It was as though he had seen the same signs in the Dr. Sears book as I had. I gathered the binkies in my hand, and <strike>watched as they descended upward</strike> put them safely in the closet in the nursery. <br />
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And then the chaos began. A large earthquake seemed to shake my toddler's room as he screamed out for me and his beloved binky. A volcano of cries followed and then the flood of tears that indicated he wasn't faking this devastation. <br />
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I wanted to give him back the binky, steal it away from the fake babies I invented. But the rapture, binky or otherwise, doesn't seem to work in reverse. I, the mommy-god, kept the binkies all to myself while my toddler was left to deal with what was left behind.<br />
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As it turns out, I am a merciful mommy, and I eventually brought Kellen into bed with us, though that only stopped the screaming. It was still another two hours before calm was restored to my room, and that was after I forewent Real Housewives of New York to try to get my son to sleep. Talk about sacrifice.<br />
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In the end the binky rapture was successful, even though Kellen did wake up screaming this morning, demanding the babies give "Kelwan's binkies" back. <br />
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As it turns out, after the great binky rapture, the chaos subsided and the world kept turning. I expect the same can be said about Sunday.Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-26403755207438305952011-05-19T15:39:00.001-06:002011-05-19T16:19:08.565-06:00We go to the zoo for the trainsAfter five weeks in California, five weeks of twice a day hyperbaric oxygen treatments, I finally got some time to spend with Kellen. We spent one of the last days in Palm Desert at The Living Desert, which is essentially a fancy name for "zoo." You might go to a zoo to see the animals. But not Kellen. He goes to see the trains.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ol5o_wtf_XY/TdWE-REnSuI/AAAAAAAABIk/xeITuk072BE/s1600/IMG_6852.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ol5o_wtf_XY/TdWE-REnSuI/AAAAAAAABIk/xeITuk072BE/s400/IMG_6852.JPG" width="266" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aMR8nO83ZxE/TdWExjW6UzI/AAAAAAAABIc/eslj1GGd_E4/s1600/IMG_6848.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aMR8nO83ZxE/TdWExjW6UzI/AAAAAAAABIc/eslj1GGd_E4/s400/IMG_6848.JPG" width="266" /></a></div><br />
That, on the left, is a logging train, and was the object of my son's attention for nearly an hour. He was distracted long enough to ask me for "monies" to throw in the pond. I eventually ran out of pennies.<br />
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My favorite part of the trains was the animal corral, where a t-rex was apparently threatening a herd of calm cattle. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ol5o_wtf_XY/TdWE-REnSuI/AAAAAAAABIk/xeITuk072BE/s1600/IMG_6852.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0cjdhKSBhj4/TdWEts9Jw7I/AAAAAAAABIY/PMZGH6coTEk/s1600/IMG_6847.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0cjdhKSBhj4/TdWEts9Jw7I/AAAAAAAABIY/PMZGH6coTEk/s400/IMG_6847.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
We did get to see a couple animals. Kellen fed the giraffe.<br />
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And then we went to the animal show where I was reminded that I hate school groups of any variety.<br />
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I'm looking forward to taking Kellen to the zoo here in Boise, but I am concerned that he is going to ask me to find the trains. Hopefully I can find an animal or two to distract him.<br />
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What's your child's favorite exhibit at the zoo?Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-27909285316091936902011-04-17T14:33:00.000-06:002011-04-17T14:33:20.430-06:00Managing expectations for the advanced toddlerDisclaimer: Writing about Kellen's development is sometimes a difficult task for me. I have several friends whose children have developmental challenges, and when it comes to a child who is developing faster, it seems like there is a fine line between being able to talk about their development and being labeled as bragging, even when it is not intended as such. <br />
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I had Kellen's preschool parent-teacher conference the other day (scheduled early because we're going back to CA for more hyperbaric oxygen treatments for my Lyme). It lasted an hour and a half, though we digressed a number of times talking about more general teaching trends rather than just Kellen. Since Kellen was born, we've noticed that he has an interesting way of learning. He's met a lot of his milestones early. Because of that, we've expected him to meet other milestones early. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he doesn't. His development has created a bit of a disconnect between what he can do and what we expect him to do.<br />
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I stopped reading developmental books a long time ago because they were no longer helpful in informing us what Kellen should be doing. If I tried to find a list of milestones that matched Kellen's development instead of his chronological age, I started to worry because while he was advanced in some of the tasks, in others he was more in line with his numerical age. I assumed if he was developmentally able to complete certain tasks, he should also be able to do the others. <br />
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It's easy to forget that Kellen just turned two and a half. His swimming teacher told me, using what I think she thought was a reassuring tone, that he would eventually understand coordinating his arms. I reminded her of his age, and she told me that it was easy to think Kellen was older and that the reminder is good so that she can reign in her expectations of what he should be capable of. His teacher and I had the same conversation. Kellen is only two and a half. He's still going to have accidents. He is still acquiring language and learning how to regulate his emotions. He can spell his name and recognize letters and understands the concept of quantity ("Mommy, two school buses"). But he doesn't have a good grasp on color identification (who needs to do that when you can differentiate between a back hoe and a bulldozer). It's easy to get concerned, as parents or as an educator. <br />
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I think it's important to set challenging expectations that require our children to reach a little bit. But it's easy, particularly with a developmentally advanced child, to set that bar a little too high, which is frustrating for both the child and the parents. <br />
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How do you manage your expectations for your children, wherever they fall on the developmental curve?Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-21524077055726638292011-03-19T15:57:00.000-06:002011-03-19T15:57:12.635-06:00It's like Preschool on TV?One of my least favorite advertising slogans is NickJr.'s "It's like preschool on TV."<br />
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No NickJr., no it's not.<br />
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It's actually nothing like preschool, unless the only objective is exposure to number and letters.<br />
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Last time I checked there weren't talking guinea pigs at school to befriend. And if I'm wrong, I'd love to know where your kid goes to school because I'm looking to make Kellen the next Harry Potter. Quite frankly, after watching the Wonder Pets, I'm a little afraid of bringing home the class pet for fear it's going to fly through my house on a makeshift sailboat-plane.<br />
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But seriously. As a former teacher, the teaching "objectives" listed before each show make me cringe a little. The purpose of Olivia is to share and care through the television? Or is it to listen to a whiny pig? <br />
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My biggest concern about the slogan is that it's actually very misleading. I am certainly able to figure out that my child shouldn't be going to TV preschool, but there are people who allow their kids to watch hours and hours and hours of children's programming using it as a makeshift preschool. In doing so, however, kids aren't using their imaginations, aren't learning how to ACTUALLY share and care, and aren't spending time outside (getting Vitamin D and/or working off their mac and cheese).<br />
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There is no opportunity for generalization, which is a critical skill at this age. Watching a cartoon character express being mad and then being told to use his words does not translate into actually being able to do that anymore than watching Steve skadoo makes my kid able to shrink and fly into a book. I would venture that watching TV instead of interacting causes children to be LESS likely to be able to effectively navigate their emotions appropriately. <br />
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It doesn't mean I don't let Kellen watch Blue's Clues or Dora. And I do think kids learn from TV and from technology. I just wish they'd take that damn slogan away. Because it's not like preschool. Not at all. And next thing you know our Congressional representatives will decide that if kids can go to preschool on tv, why can't we just create national programming and forgo education altogether (of course they'd have to rethink that funding issue with the Corporation for Public Broadcasting!).Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-56760418524756405482011-03-15T19:28:00.001-06:002011-03-19T15:14:01.879-06:00My two year old is not spoiled::Rant hat on:: (I've missed you!)<br />
<br />
Excuse me, but my son is not spoiled. He's two. No. He's two AND A HALF. And that, I promise you, is worse on a magnitude that far exceeds the six months between the two ages.<br />
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Now, let me talk for a minute about his behavior, which most days resembles the dragon he swears he hears hiding in his tube slide. It <i>is</i> grossly inappropriate FOR.AN.ADULT. The other day he thought it was funny to scream tiny staccato screams, sounds so loud that they caused the passenger seatbelt light to flash (and beep) even though no one was sitting there. If anyone over the age of seven got in my car and did the same thing, we would have problems that probably would involve the side of the road. But he's two (and a half).<br />
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The thing is, he drives me crazy (and I tell him as much to the point that when I clench my teeth and groan about anything he says, "Mommy going crazy"). So why don't I do anything about it? Well, thanks for asking.<br />
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I know you'll be shocked.<br />
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The reason he acts the way he does is precisely <i>because</i> we set boundaries. It is a very rare event (though not altogether unlikely) that a child screams and throws himself on the ground because you gave him the very piece of candy that he so loudly demanded. Nope. He screams because I didn't. When we leave the Little Gym and he's crying because he didn't get to jump on the "crack," I still make him walk himself out to the car, even if it involves fifteen minutes of me leaning up against a door until he complies. If he can't calm himself down at home, he goes into his room until he can. He eats what I make him for dinner. I don't cook Mac and Cheese just because my two (and a half) year old thinks he runs the show.<br />
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Nope. My child isn't spoiled. He's just two (and a half, in case it wasn't clear). If he still acts this way when he's fifteen, then you can pull me aside and question my parenting. Until then, leave me the hell alone. And keep your mouth shut.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i694.photobucket.com/albums/vv305/designherblog/button.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i694.photobucket.com/albums/vv305/designherblog/button.jpg" /></a></div>Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-74052710574815931492011-03-15T17:55:00.000-06:002011-03-15T17:55:03.939-06:00No more working at homeI'm so excited. I just signed a lease for a small office space about seven minutes from here. No more working from home, which hopefully means more work will actually get done! <br />
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Kellen is going to be transitioning to full-day, everyday school starting in May! (If I weren't so opposed to all-caps, that last sentence would have been in them!) <br />
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It only took two and a half years after the fire, after Lyme, after Kellen's birth to return to a job. And not just any job! It's going to be my own company. All of the stuff I've done as side projects the past couple of years are going to come together to create this really fun, creative space for me. <br />
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I really want to share more. I know I'm being kind of secretive. But we aren't fully incorporated yet. And I'm going on a health-related trip the end of the month. And we are still working on lining up the other people involved in this venture. <br />
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I will share more soon. I promise. But for now? I'm just really excited to be rejoining the working world and minimizing my exposure to two year old tantrums. Those go away, right?!Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-80117051817479882112011-02-26T13:57:00.000-07:002011-02-26T13:57:07.718-07:00Work at home mom. See also, 28 hour daysI'm currently transitioning from sick mom to work-at-home mom. I'm not sure which was more exhausting. <br />
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My book is about 40 percent done, though I've stopped querying agents while I work on retooling it a bit. I'm in the middle of forming the non-profit. The logo is done. I've assigned a few articles (interested in writing for us?! email me!). I've compiled a list of websites I like and am working on the web navigation structure to send to the designer who is supposed to start work in a week or two. <br />
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Seriously, I have so much work to do for those two things alone, nevermind the occasional blog design and Pampered Chef events. <br />
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<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-2YqZhlMZSt0/TWlo0Su1G3I/AAAAAAAABEo/1rmq_G5RkAs/s1600/IMG_6705.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-2YqZhlMZSt0/TWlo0Su1G3I/AAAAAAAABEo/1rmq_G5RkAs/s320/IMG_6705.JPG" width="320" /></a>Adding to all the work stuff, I also try to be a mom, which admittedly was far easier when the kid could be entertained on a Baby Einstein activity mat with a flashing star. Now I actually have to DO stuff. This week we made a shoe-box dragon. And Kellen wants to make forts and go on bear hunts and set up train tracks and hold monster truck rallies. Even with going to preschool three mornings a week and taking 2-3 hour naps in the afternoon, there still seem to be far too many hours in the day where my attention and creativity is demanded. <br />
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I try to turn on Cars, but usually I need to validate the entire movie. <br />
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"Look Mommy. See it, helicopter?" Kellen will say, looking up to me, sometimes actually turning my head to attend to his awareness of the flying object on the television.<br />
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"I do see it Kellen," I say, trying to look, nod, and type all at the same time. <br />
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I do have a couple of hours after he goes to bed when I could work, but I always feel so tired and want a few minutes to numb out. I probably should be working. <br />
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The balance of work and parenting is amazing, and it seems that the time is so fragmented. It must be the reason women seem more genetically able to multi-task. There is no other option when a child is pulling on your pants and you have dinner to make and thirty thoughts about other tasks going on at the same time. I write in my head in the car. I read on the treadmill. I tweet during swim lessons. I have to. I know it doesn't allow me to be 100% engaged with my son at all times, but is that always a bad thing? Does he always need my validation and praise over his teacher's? I know it's not enough for me to be a mom alone. I need these other identities. But, having them is also Lyme-like exhausting.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-3VqZdGxerkw/TWlo3WcqNqI/AAAAAAAABEs/7_5tmk9APiA/s1600/IMG_6706.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-3VqZdGxerkw/TWlo3WcqNqI/AAAAAAAABEs/7_5tmk9APiA/s320/IMG_6706.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<i>How do you juggle working and parenting? What are your coping strategies if you are a stay at home, working mom?</i>Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-64068954649630896612011-02-21T12:39:00.002-07:002011-02-21T12:57:27.304-07:00Toddler pacifier useWhy yes, my two year old son still uses a pacifier, thanks for asking. Oh wait, you didn't ask. You just went out to eat and decided that would be a great time to talk about my parenting choices. But, the pacifier, yes, my son still uses it.<br />
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I have a love/hate relationship with the thing. It drives me crazy to see a preschool-age child out walking around a store with a pacifier in his or her mouth. I can't say I've never judged. But I also walk away and think, "They're doing what works for them." I also am pretty certain that child isn't going to college with the thing, and even if he did, is it really hurting me?!<br />
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But Kellen isn't in college. He's barely even in preschool. He's two. And he uses the pacifier to fall asleep. He knows the binky stays in his bed. If he finds a pacifier, he might need to be reminded, but this rarely happens. <br />
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The two biggest medical issues with pacifiers, it seems, are teeth and language development. So I'll address those for you since this is such a concern. I have an overbite. I didn't use a pacifier. Kellen has an overbite. He uses a pacifier. But the overbite? Genes. And he's likely going to need braces when he gets older, so I'm not using that as my deciding factor. Language development? Kellen's first word was "Let's go" over a year ago. He speaks in full sentences and correctly conjugates verbs most of the time. And he's not doing much talking in his sleep (I hope). I'm pretty sure we're good.<br />
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So really the pacifier comes down to personal choice. It allows Kellen to sleep, sleep I didn't get for over a year and need in order to stay healthy myself. And it comforts him. Is it really that bad?<br />
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Do I feel pressured to make him give it up? YES. It's my goal to have it gone by the time he's three. I actually feel like I should make him give it up now, but it isn't because I believe it's detrimental to him. It's because all of you think that you know what's right for my son, and I'm tired of hearing snide comments from the peanut gallery.<br />
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Now that you know why I allow him to use it, maybe you can explain why it matters so much to you that he does.Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-79087795870328255052011-02-09T15:53:00.000-07:002011-02-09T15:53:52.077-07:00Toddler swimmingSince Kellen was born, I've been paranoid about him being around water. It might have something to do with almost dropping him into the bath when he was six weeks old, or maybe it is just a biological fear. We signed up for lessons at the Y, but Kellen kept getting ear infections, so we weren't able to follow through. We did get one private lesson there as a make-up, and it was horrible. The half hour was spent trying to get Kellen to put his face in and blow bubbles. It felt like a complete waste of time.<br />
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Then I saw my friend's son swimming, and I learned about <a href="http://www.infantswim.com/">ISR</a>. No need to spend months and years trying to get my son to put his head underwater. No need for floaties. The program would teach Kellen to save himself in a water emergency.<br />
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Honestly, we started ISR for the safety component alone. All I cared was that Kellen could save himself from drowning if he fell in a pool. What we got, though, is so much more than that. The program focuses on a sequence of back-to-float where a child swims and then flips over to float until they can be rescued. Once the child has that skill, they increase the layers a child has so that they learn the survival techniques in shoes and a coat (because kids often don't fall into a pool unattended in their swim suit). Kellen LOVES the water. At first he hated swimming, and now he frequently asks if he can go. If my dad goes with us, Kellen is more than happy to show off. And now we are working on integrating arms into his swim stroke. It's amazing.<br />
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If you don't believe me, watch:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyEq8s8HFioFVx4hp1m7hiABQ1nH8nDtyut2J1dCuUGfUnnSAmmwiCrRZUe4pw3FuJbYiCwBfVmqujM2Bg5XA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
I'm not usually one to promote companies on this blog, but I LOVE ISR and think the program is absolutely amazing. If you aren't local, I encourage you to check out the infant swim website and find an instructor. If you are local, <a href="http://sites.google.com/site/isrboise/">Ann</a> is absolutely amazing. Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-15153766271024975482011-01-21T18:18:00.001-07:002011-01-21T18:25:38.485-07:00The penis theory of KindergartenMy friend <a href="http://critterchronicles.net/">Heather</a> just wrote a post about already needing to make decisions for her kids for next year's school situation. Among the issues she needs to consider is whether to start her son as a young 5 or at 6.<br />
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We've also contemplated this dilemma, even though Kellen's only 2. By starting him early in preschool, we're essentially on the track for him to start Kindergarten at 4, almost 5. Unless he repeats Kindergarten, that's probably going to be where he ends up.<br />
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Honestly, this wouldn't even be an issue if Kellen were a girl. It's those pesky boys that we all seem to be concerned about. Are they going to be mature enough when they're 12? (I can tell you the answer, and it's a resounding NO. I've yet to meet a mature 12 year old boy.) If he physically matures late, he might not be the star quarterback (we're already going to have to delay ski lessons until he's almost 4 because he misses the cutoff by 26 days). And he might get teased, though again, I'm pretty sure everyone gets teased in junior high because everyone else is trying to mask their own insecurities.<br />
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We were discussing this with my dad. Apparently those are all good concerns, but that's not the issue he was most concerned about. Nope. My dad, Kellen's grandfather, told me we should consider holding Kellen back until he's almost 6 because he might have the smallest penis in the class when everyone else hits puberty.<br />
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I'll let you catch your breath, maybe re-read that last paragraph.<br />
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Yep. My dad's biggest concern is Kellen taking a shower when he's thirteen and being teased about the size of his pecker. (I would also like to pause and say that I have tried very hard not to think about the fact that my dad is likely speaking from experience. I don't know. I didn't ask.)<br />
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Dan told my dad that more than likely Kellen wouldn't be showering with the other kids because, well, no one takes showers after P.E. anymore. I'm pretty sure I'll be lucky if I can convince my almost teenage son to shower once a week, much less daily in front of fifteen other boys.<br />
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This all just proves why it's important to have male figures in your son's life. Because I was worried about Kellen's alphabet skills. Who would have known I was supposed to be worried about his penis?Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-19300860170146049062011-01-14T13:53:00.000-07:002011-01-14T13:53:41.356-07:00Why I Suck at BloggingIt always amazes me when I open up my Dashboard in Blogger and see that it's been two (or more) weeks since I last blogged. I have lots to say, so where are my posts?<br />
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Then, this week, I read a story about overlooked professions, and there was an entry about blogging (which means the writer obviously did very little homework because of the 50,000 or so blogs they say are started each day, I imagine only one or two makes any money, much less a living). Anyhow, the blogger they referenced said he spends roughly fourteen hours a day blogging and nine hours on weekend. WAIT, WHAT?! <br />
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Fourteen hours a day? Well, he's obviously not a mom. But even if he were, there are plenty of moms who are making money off blogging, and if my Twitter feed is any indication, those moms are certainly spending a hell of a lot of time online. And I'm not one to talk too much as I spend at least a few hours online everyday. BUT FOURTEEN HOURS?!<br />
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I realized while reading that, this is why I suck at blogging. I don't have fourteen hours a day to devote to blogging. I don't have four hours. I get up at 8 (oh thank you Kellen for finally learning what it means to sleep in). I run around for an hour, feeding the child "YOGURT CHEERIOS... no cheerios ON TOP" and bribing him into his McQueen underwear and jeans and getting him loaded in the car as I grab my eggs on the way out the door and shovel in my breakfast at stop signs. He goes to preschool. Or swimming. Or the Little Gym. If he's at preschool, I go to the gym, get an hour workout in, then usually have some kind of massage or acupuncture appointment to get my nervous system to calm the fuck down. If he's not, we run around doing child activities that frankly BORE the hell out of me. Then I come home and sometimes have a college girl to help out, so we spend the next few hours organizing toys and doing laundry and filing and... Kellen goes down for a nap. I take a deep breath, check my email, and then somewhere the next two hours are gone and Kellen is awake again. Dinner gets started (usually a frozen meal from Dinner Thyme and a bag of steamed broccoli). We eat. Kellen takes a bath. I read him stories. He goes to sleep. And now it's 8:30. I'm too exhausted to do dishes much less try to write a sentence. And somewhere in there I'm trying to get a book signed to an agent. No wonder I suck at blogging.<br />
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I'm convinced that in order to be any good at blogging, you have to spend a considerable amount of time reading other blogs and commenting. I'm not sure when I'm supposed to do that either. And a lot of time I feel like people read other blogs just to drive readership to their blog, which really annoys the piss out of me. <br />
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So bloggers... how do you find time to write? And more importantly what makes you not suck at blogging?Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-86209174695515702122010-12-29T14:58:00.000-07:002010-12-29T14:58:40.846-07:00Public bathrooms with a toddlerKellen's really into the potty these days. Other than a brief stomach bug this week, he's been out of diapers every day for several months and rarely has accidents. Surprisingly, the biggest joys of having a two year old potty trained isn't the financial savings or not having to change diapers all the time. Nope. It's getting to take said two year old into a public restroom and have him narrate the entire experience.<br />
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Today at Costco, I suggested we go to the bathroom to wash hands after the free sample of nacho cheese-that's-not-really-cheese. And because, well, I needed to go. Kellen, donned in an oversized sweatshirt and his monster boots, strolled his way through the front of Costco, making me an anxious mess that he was going to pee on the floor in front of the bathroom, look up with those big blue eyes, and say "potty," in case I wasn't aware... and then worse, "hold you," as though I wanted to carry a urine soaked child through the store. <br />
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Thankfully though, we made it to the potty after a game of chase to get him to hurry it up. <br />
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Into the last stall we went, a paper towel in hand to wipe his hands. Off come the monster boots. Off come the jeans and underwear. Thankfully we've gotten to the point where he allows socks and shirts to remain ON. <br />
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"Kellen potty," he says.<br />
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And then when he's done, "Kellen flush potty." <br />
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As I sit down to use the bathroom, he announces that the potty is, actually, "scary" because of the loud noise. I ask him to come over and put on his underwear, at which point he loudly announces, "NO WAY!"<br />
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Then, he leans over, my half-dressed child, and peeks under the stall, getting what I can only assume is a good look at several people's feet. "Oh, potty over there," Kellen says. Thankfully I was hidden behind the closed stall door.<br />
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"Kellen, we need to put on your underwear," I say.<br />
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"Mommy potty," he responds, standing in a corner so I can't grab his arm to get him dressed. <br />
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Then, "Mommy poop," he says. I love having my bodily functions announced to the other bathroom dwellers. <br />
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I tell Kellen he can flush potty if he puts on his McQueen underwear, so he allows me to dress him as he continues to talk about all the potty-ing going on in our stall.<br />
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I stand up, and he peers into the potty, giving an out-loud description of what he sees inside. We haven't explicitly taught him the concept of big and small, but pooping is apparently a boy's best teacher. He flushes and again yells, "Scary." <br />
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We wash hands and escape before anyone else can exit and see the cute young boy and his embarrassed mom as they leave the bathroom. Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-46991034642957676422010-12-15T13:56:00.000-07:002010-12-15T13:56:57.229-07:00Montessori SchoolI am a behavioralist by training. I believe in positive and negative reinforcement. I believe in direct teaching, especially for literacy skills and for those kids who struggle in "typical" environments. I am a special ed teacher. I've seen profound improvements using behavioralist strategies.<br />
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But now I'm a mom. And my kid isn't like the kids I've worked with in the past. I still believe in reinforcers. I gave Kellen M&Ms to potty train him, and it worked. But he also is a passive learner, acquiring skills that I've never directly taught (like saying "Oh shit" when he trips). Even when he was a tiny baby, he always seemed to be thinking, observing, learning. And he's very internally motivated to learn. (All of this is important to my point about Montessori school, I promise.)<br />
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You also have to understand that our education options in Idaho are limited (I know you're shocked). As I've written before, Idaho's schools rank very poorly, and even in Boise where the schools are better, they are still behind (the one year I spent here in elementary school put me an entire year behind in math when I got back to Virginia). If there were other preschool options, I might never have seriously explored Montessori education because of my behavioralist background. <br />
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The Montessori approach is very constructivist, believing that children are intrinsically motivated to learn (compared to behavioralism which has a far less optimistic perspective where children need motivators to learn). I don't believe either theory is really correct, truly. I think kids (and adults) ARE motivated by external factors whether that's adult approval or food or stuff or praise, etc (and most adults are motivated by their paycheck). But I also think we are all also intrinsically motivated to do certain things as well. I like to write, and I am motivated by the pure enjoyment of writing. Kellen loves trains and doesn't need M&Ms to play with them. And the Montessori approach uses those interests to teach other concepts (I guess Kellen's interest in poop and using comparative terms like "big poop" and "little poop" is a Montessori strategy?). <br />
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Honestly, for Kellen, I believe this approach is good for him. I like the fact that the actual principle is for young learners from 3-6 because I really think we don't do enough during those years. Kids are capable of far more than play, and there is no reason why our kids can't be multiplying by first grade. A true Montessori school should <a href="http://www.amshq.org/documents/AMS_Standards_9_17_10.pdf">comply with national standards</a> on teaching literacy and math concepts so that kids are ready for the more advanced skills by early Kindergarten. I am much happier with their program than just an introduction to letters that occurs in a number of other schools. I also like that the kids seem to truly enjoy school. Kellen loves going to "play with Miss Rose" (though today he told me "no way" after sitting at the doctor for over an hour, but if he was feeling anything like I was, I don't blame him!).<br />
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I'm still not sure I think Montessori is for every kid, though I'm sure they would tell you that every kid can succeed with their methods because they are all individualized. I think some kids need more structure than Montessori education provides. And some kids need direct instruction (discrete trial training is the only proven teaching method for kids with autism for example). But, for now, this is the right school for us.Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-3638776343539054282010-12-06T13:26:00.000-07:002010-12-06T13:26:06.412-07:00Why I hate your FB "awareness" campaignsIt started with bra color and then moved to where to put your purse. Now it's cartoon characters. All in the name of awareness?! I hate them. And maybe you a little bit. <br />
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1. It's not awareness. Ok. Go find me ten people who were unaware of child abuse and breast cancer who were enlightened by your cartoon character avatar, and then maybe we can talk. I never see these campaigns trying to bring awareness to issues that really need awareness (like, say, Lyme disease).<br />
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2. It's more likely to prompt a discussion of the cartoons you watched as a kid or the nature of why your purse is under your bed than it is to prompt a discussion about the actual issue you are trying to raise "awareness" of.<br />
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3. It's obnoxious. I've had several people argue that it shows the issues they care about. Well then I guess that makes me a heartless bitch. I actually do care very much about children. But I don't believe that changing my avatar in any way raises awareness or even shows any compassion on my part. If I changed my avatar or status every damn time someone posted an issue to be *aware* of, well I'd never get to post about things that really matter: like the fact that my kid took a shit in the toilet today.<br />
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4. It doesn't prompt action. Another person (can you tell I've been fuming about this for a few days) wrote that awareness is the first step to action. Well, no, not really. Action is the first step toward action. I would likely feel much differently if there was SOMETHING tied to any of these campaigns, like donating a dollar to research or women's shelters. Or if a company was sponsoring the updates and donating. Or if you were going out to volunteer in response to seeing the cartoon characters. Or calling a friend who is struggling with an illness related to the campaign. Because the action of changing your status is not action that matters. Quite frankly, I think it's bullshit.<br />
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My facebook picture is currently a butt, courtesy of a friend's husband. His response to all this madness is as follows:<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">"</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="UIStory_Message">Change your profile picture to a butt and post this as your status! This is to raise awareness of how many of us are asses if we think that anything we post on Facebook will cure cancer, prevent child abuse, abolish starvation, or otherwise solve any social ills merely by "raising awareness" of them."</span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.abdpbt.com/?cat=148" mce_href="http://www.abdpbt.com/?cat=148" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="listbutton" mce_src="http://www.abdpbt.com/listbutton.jpg" src="http://www.abdpbt.com/listbutton.jpg" /></a></div>Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-4654889630912223612010-12-02T20:11:00.000-07:002010-12-02T20:11:34.872-07:00Master of train designRemember the list of college courses I said I wish I had taken? I'm thinking toddler train design should be added.<br />
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My son is a wooden train addict, which is great! But in order to keep him interested, I have to keep changing up the design. Thankfully for his birthday we asked for pieces to add to his train, so I have a ton of track to be creative. He demands that we use his bridge.<br />
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And his railway crossing:<br />
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</div>And he demands "ups." We learned quickly that the regular risers don't work that well, especially on carpet. I bought these instead and HIGHLY recommend them:<br />
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My favorite starter track was Melissa and Doug's Figure Eight set:<br />
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I've thought about doing a series where I highlight some of my track design. Thoughts? I'd have to take more pictures! And probably not from my cell phone, like this picture:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-4350904259568994172010-11-14T17:45:00.002-07:002010-11-14T17:53:13.108-07:00Mommy-itisKellen has a bad case of Mommy-itis. <br /><br />Don't get my wrong. I love my son, and I love that he loves me.<br /><br />BUT...<br /><br />I want to know when he will learn that mommy isn't the only one in the world capable of helping him.<br /><br />If he needs to go to the bathroom and Dan tries to take him, his response is usually, "NOOOOOOO. Mama potty."<br /><br />Sometimes Dan can read books and put him to bed. But most nights, as I'm hooked up to my IV lying in bed, he screams for me to read "llama pajama." <br /><br />It's a struggle for me. I want him to play independently. I don't want to feel like he needs me exclusively to meet his needs. It causes me stress when I'm trying to make dinner and have to put down everything to wipe my kid's ass. <br /><br />I know that everyone says to enjoy it because soon enough they won't want anything to do with you. But really?! The constant-ness of "mama mama mama mama mama mama" isn't enjoyable, any more than watching your teenage son walk by you wishing he would just stop and give you a hug and tell you about his day.Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-6664973795953413892010-11-08T11:25:00.002-07:002010-11-08T11:56:34.141-07:00Open Letter to my expectant friends... and those who ever want to have childrenDear friends-<br />Congratulations! You're pregnant. In a few short weeks (they'll seem shorter once you have a kid), you'll be blessed with a screaming, pooping, bundle of joy. <br /><br />There are lots of things you'll hear over and over from those of us who've been there (and maybe even from those who haven't but think they know a lot about having a kid). You'll experience love like you never knew was possible (it's true). The first few weeks are hard. Trust your instincts. Blah, blah, blah. Parenting is hard. H-A-R-D. There's a reason, beyond the financial of course, why millions of moms keep their jobs! And there's so much that people don't tell you, probably because at this point, you're pregnant, and there's no turning back! Also, we're a torturous people, and we like to watch others suffer through the same misery. Preparing you wouldn't be any fun, would it?<br /><br />Anyhow...<br /><br />1. You'll be tired beyond what you ever thought possible. Were you thinking that those late night study sessions in college were for learning? Nope. They were preparation for parenthood so that when you are up at 3:14 for the sixth night in a row, you aren't totally unprepared for what the depths of nighttime looks like! Walking from the library to your dorm in pitch blackness is nothing compared to stumbling down your hall, trying to find the pacifier between the crib and the wall, and trying really hard not to turn your brain on too much lest you find yourself unable to go back to sleep as you work through your mental to-do list. <br /><br />2. Breastfeeding is hard. It might be natural, but for a lot of women, it feels anything but. If you are planning on breastfeeding, great. Just be prepared that it might not come as easily as the books suggest it should! And trust your instincts. If you think your child isn't getting enough food, it's possible they aren't. As I finally learned, formula isn't poison and in fact can save lives! Also, if you are ever planning on giving a bottle, introduce it early. I have never seen nipple confusion but I have seen a number of babies who wouldn't take a bottle EVER. That's a solid year not being able to go away from your child for more than a couple of hours.<br /><br />3. Don't overdo the nursery! I bought a very nice Restoration Hardware crib. It's beautiful, really. BUT... I could have spent far less and still had a nice place for my son to sleep! They all end up chewing the crap out of the side anyway! Kellen moved into his other room at 15 months as well, which made the purchase seem even more ridiculous! I would save your money for decorating once they are a little older and in their room a little longer (or you convert the nursery to their bigger kid room).<br /><br />4. Your hormones will be ALL OVER THE PLACE after you have your baby. If I thought crying when a contestant was kicked off American Idol was bad, it was nothing in comparison to the roller coaster that is the first few weeks post-partum. I brought Kellen home and created a schedule so that someone was always awake with the baby because I was so afraid he would stop breathing. It was totally irrational. You too will probably be totally irrational and paranoid. It's normal. <br /><br />5. Sleep is the most important priority of your life. I don't care how you get the child to sleep (upside down is probably a bad idea), let them sleep. Kellen slept in his car seat for upwards of four months. And in his swing. And even once in the jumperoo. Hardly in that expensive crib. <br /><br />6. Consignment sales are your friend. Start looking for mom-to-mom sales now and stock up. Your kid is in clothes for such a short period of time. I have found nicer clothes at the consignment sale than I would have if I had just shopped at Gymboree (though I won't go into my despair at the fact that my dog ate Kellen's cutest sweater this weekend). Also, your house will be overrun with baby crap. It's almost unbelievable to walk through our house and imagine that we lost everything two years ago because there is CRAP everywhere (and our garage is full with clothes bins and toys). <br /><br />7. I guess I should speak to the actual birthing part. It hurts. Your water might not break until well into labor, and you'll be lucky if it doesn't. And epidural is your friend. There is nothing heroic about natural childbirth!!! (I would know. I went nearly the whole way without an epidural and had it turned on for a mere 10 minutes before I had to start pushing. If I had gotten it earlier, I might have been rested so I could push!) If you have a birth plan, plan for your birth to go exactly the opposite. Honestly, be flexible. All the things they say in a natural birthing class sound wonderful. Until you actually have to have the baby. <br /><br />That's my best advice in general with parenting. Have an idea of how you'd like things to go, sure. But prepare to make adjustments as you go, knowing that every kid is different. Anti-TV? You might be... until it's 4 in the morning and you haven't slept in three days, and you know if you put on Baby Einstein on Repeat Play (the show might not make your kid a genius, but the creators sure were!) and put the baby in the pack n play, you can sleep for three more hours. Anti-candy? Just wait until it's time to potty train and that's the only thing your child will respond to! <br /><br />And stay off the internet. It will only make you paranoid :-)<br /><br />Can't wait to meet your babies!<br />BrookeBrookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-45593664648085927872010-11-06T11:14:00.000-06:002010-11-06T11:14:00.768-06:00Kellen's favoritesFavorite shape: Circle. Kellen loves everything in circles. He colors in circles. He "jump[s] in a circle." He even apparently likes pee puddles on the floor in the shape of a circle.<br /><br />Favorite letter: X Kellen often asks for "TUV" just so that he can say "X." Quite frankly I didn't even know that he knew the alphabet. <br /><br />Least favorite number: 6. As much as we try, he seems content to skip the number 6 when counting (to at least 10 and often to 13). <br /><br />Favorite numbers: 7 8. I think it's why he skips 6. He's excited to say "se-bun ayet."Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4510191717770766971.post-44619874308349177292010-11-05T10:47:00.002-06:002010-11-05T11:10:57.984-06:00On Parent Teacher ConferencesKellen's first parent-teacher conference was yesterday. He's only been going to preschool for two weeks, so it was a little silly. But it still made me feel all... parenty. <br /><br />Unfortunately, since starting preschool we've seen a backslide in the potty training. Where he once was telling us he needed to go, he is now content to pee his pants and THEN tell us. (He also was pretty impressed with himself when he peed in the shape of a circle on my hardwood floor.) So we created a plan for when to take Kellen to the potty. The kid is a schedule freak. My genes were strong ones, apparently. He never has an accident before swimming because he knows that's when he goes. So we're trying to create the same environment at school. I refuse to return to diapers.<br /><br />Kellen likes his teacher and frequently checks in with her. This doesn't surprise me. He likes approval from adults and wants their attention and praise. I repeated several times during our half hour visit that I understand Kellen because he is JUST like me. <br /><br />Miss Rose also said that Kellen is very detail-oriented and observant. We've noticed this at home as well. While perfectly content to make a mess, he likes things in their place and will often go fix something he thinks is out of place before moving onto another task. And the fact that he's so observant is one reason we've pushed to have him around older children. We want him emulating behaviors of older kids more than younger ones. Miss Rose echoed that same feeling, saying that he was a child who seemed to be better suited to be the younger child rather than the older one. While it may seem ridiculous for us to be thinking about this when he's two, the fact that he has a late September birthday has made deciding when to start school trickier. Because of the Montessori path, he will likely start Kindergarten at 4, almost 5, instead of 5, almost 6. That can always change, but for now, that seems to be the path we are on. <br /><br />Overall, we are just so proud of our little boy and continue to celebrate his accomplishments.Brookehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.com1